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I'm FineI'm fine.
Clearly you see that I'm not.
But really I'm fine.
Always have been.
But no I'm not.
I'm not fine.
Saying your fine means nothing.
It is a lie.
But I say it anyways.
It's all I can say.
To keep them away.
Because telling them won't help.
Because they don't understand.
Explainations won't do.
So I say those two words.
Just to keep them satisfied.
While my mind scream "I'M NOT FINE".
My lips are in a straight line.
I show no signs of being "not fine".
But that's just a mask.
So really, I'm not fine.
But I'll keep saying it.
I'll keep saying it till you're satisfied.
Because it's my problem.
It's never your problem.
So you shouldn't have to worry.
But I want you to worry really.
But telling you that is selfish.
I can't be selfish.
Selfish is bad.
So if you ask,
Yes I am fine.
But no I am not fine.
I am far from it.
But I'll tell you that lie again.
So you don't make that face.
Even thought I'm not fi
You don't talk to me
I thought that you said,
No matter what happens,
we'll always be friends.
You're going to let this
stand in the way of our friendship?
What the hell?
It looks like I misjudged you.
But I can't say
that you don't have an excuse
for your actions.
You said that you loved me.
I said that I could not return your feelings.
Wouldn't it have been
more hurtful if I lied
and told you I loved you back?
there was some way
to soften the blow.
And I was too much of an idiot
to know how.
Do you blame me?
I'm sorry, I really am.
But you were the first person
who ever told me that.
I just didn't know how to react.
I'm so sorry.
You must be hurting
so much right now.
And me, near you
that would probably bring you more pain.
So I'll just stay away
and hope that one day,
we can smile at each other
like we did before.
I am.I am.
I am the person who lives.
I am the person who loves.
I am the girl who cries to sleep at night, wishing I could be prettier.
I am the boy who is trying to live up to everyone else's expectations other than my own.
I am the invisible who linger in the hallways.
I am the person who bullies to feel better.
I am the parent who gave up after my child went to jail.
I am the daughter who works at fifteen because my parents can't.
I am the person who is bullied for being different.
I am the person who lives because I don't know what happens after death.
I am the woman who is hit on every day because of my looks, making them more of a curse then
I am the man who took steroids to be stronger and now am discarded by society.
I am the child who was forgotten.
I am the broken.
I am the hero.
I am the villain.
I am the takers.
I am the givers.
I am the deserving.
I am the bullied.
I am the pressured.
I am the suffering.
I am the surviving.
I am the wishers.
I am the dreamers.
There's a Girl...There's a girl I know....and I'm afraid for her.
She doesn't know who she is,
She's trying to figure it out.
She wants to be right, but only seems to do wrong.
She looks ahead, but can't forget the past.
She's scarred and wounded, and it's never healed.
She has no best friend, she feels alone in this world.
She's afraid to be herself.
She wants to let it all out, but always holds it in.
She is happy on the outside, but inside sobbing.
She doesn't know who her friends are.
She wants to start over.
She wants to forget.
She wants to know who she is.
But in the end, she's to scared to try.
Her secret? No one knows.
No one cares to ask.
No one cares to help.
No one feels.
She is alone.
The people around her say that she is strong,
But she's scared.
They say that she's beautiful,
But she has an ugly secret.
They say she's open,
But she's afraid to let people see her true self.
I'm the only person she has.
But the sad thing is, she's not even real.
SHE doesn't exist.
"I know who you are."
"You're the guy who thinks he's invisible."
"I have a name-"
"It isn't important. Because you really don't think it's important."
"All right. Since we've started out this way, let me just tell you, I know you too."
"You're the girl who is broken."
"I am not broken."
"You're the girl whose eyes close every night and open the next morning, only to find you have never slept at all."
"I sleep well. Besides-"
"You're the girl who dreams of a happy ending even though she has seen seventeen...no, eighteen unhappy ones in her eighteen years."
"Happy endings are over rated. And you're-"
"You're the girl who wants something bigger, something stronger, just so the weakness in her body becomes something so much more."
"You don't understand weakness the way-"
"You're the girl whose heart broke when she was so young, and she fixed it back together with superglue, but cannot ignore the cracks."
"Superglue makes for a good companion, especially when-"
Who says I dont care?I don't care who you are
I don't care what you were
But if you are with me,
I will care about you
I don't care where you live
I don't care what you live in
But if you have no reason to live,
I will help you find your reason
I don't care what relationship you had
I don't care who they were with
But if they hurt you,
I will be there for you
I know I don't care about many things
I know I'm blunt and insensitive at times
Just know that
I am your friend and you are mine
I may not care at times, but right now I do
I'm not insensitive because I still care for you
MirrorMirror, mirror, on the wall,
I refuse to be your china doll.
With your minions wielding microphones
Your gorgeous, dazzling, Barbie'd clones
Your lies, your smiles, your peddled "cure"
Your help, your love, your "Just a little bit more..."
"A little bit farther, and you'll lose who you were.
A little bit better, and you'll be just like her."
Mirror, mirror, at my feet,
Cracked and gone like once-was me,
Stop begging, stop pleading,
Stop lying, stop needing--
Let me go.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More